Missing the point

When kids start out we reward them for all their milestones.  We reward them for their first steps by giving praise or potty training(by giving treats).  Does it matter that one child learned to walk a month before another?  Does it matter that one child stopped having accidents before another?  It does not as we are all on different levels.

I have coached and fostered kids who have had not been rewarded for those milestones.  Those kids lacked confidence and the ability to challenge themselves.  I start by telling them the only thing I expect from them is maximum effort.  Then from there I set obtainable goals for that child. For one kid it may be getting 3 rebounds for another it may be taking(not making but taking) a shot.  When the game is on the line I challenge all the kids to give it their  all.  Its hard for kids to see the reward in obtaining a personal goal.  So that participation trophy helps just like the pee pee candy does when a kids goes potty.  Win or lose you set a goal and you worked towards that goal.

I have run 3 half marathons, three 10ks, four 8ks and 6 or so 5ks.  I have not won any of them.  Although I did come in 3rd in one 10k in my age group(humble brag).  I don't run to win I run to stay healthy.  A way to keep my blood pressure in line with out taking daily medication.   Then it became a challenge.  If I can run 3 miles then I can run 6.  If I can run 6 miles I can run 13.  Then it became can I run 3 miles in under 30 mins.  I found different ways to challenge and push myself.  By achieving those goals I won.  That is what needs to be taught to kids.  If you teach them there is no reward unless you are the best then they wont try.

This mind set goes beyond sports.  Kids need to be taught to set goals in life.  So that when they are adults they will set goals that matter.  Such as education goals.  I am going to get a certification to get that promotion at work.  I am going to finish my undergrad or get a masters.  Financial goals.  I am going to save for a trip.  I am going save up for a down payment on a house.  The reward in those cases are  clear.

Winning at life does not mean you are the richest or have the most stuff.  It means you have achieved the goals you set for yourself.  This should be taught to kids. The ultimate prize is not always first place or a trophy.


But what do I know.